Porn is love you can see.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
