I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
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only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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