So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
