Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
