I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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