Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
nutella sex= disaster
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
