She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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