how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
