I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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