Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
