I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
