Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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