community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize