don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
