your thong is hanging out like whoa
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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