I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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