A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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