The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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