No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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