i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
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No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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