Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize