Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
