is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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