So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
