If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
