what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize