I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
