Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
