is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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