i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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