Who wears a wallet chain?!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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