Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
