the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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