Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize