Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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