We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
