the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
