Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
