He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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