On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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