apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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