I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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