I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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