He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
