just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
