Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
