I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize