if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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