Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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