S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
