i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
