He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
