the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
where am i from again
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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