accomplished twins. life is a go
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
