Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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