i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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