I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This toilet bowl is my home.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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