is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
