Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize