I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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