We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
